Conferences

The Captain goes to a small Methodist school for Pre-K.  Apparently, being Methodist is not a prerequisite for admission.  He brought home a notice recently that it was time for a parent-teacher conferences.  Oh joy.  The Captain's mom and I arrive and are welcomed in by his two teachers.  They exchange some pleasantries and ask us to sit across the table from them.  The room was designed for five year olds.  The table is six inches off of the ground.  As are the chairs.  My knees don't fit under the table.  My body doesn't come close to fitting in the chair.  It was reminiscent of a bad cop movie where the suspect is intentionally made uncomfortable in the interrogation room. I struggled to keep my composure.


They start off by telling us that that the Captain is a joy to have in class and that he looks like a little James Bond.  I can only hope they don't mean Timothy Dalton. They pull out the Captain's "work portfolio" because obviously, he is applying for a job with Apple.  They go through each page and gush over his work. One says, "You will never have any trouble whatsoever with his intelligence."  She goes on to talk about percentiles and a few other things that caused my eyes to glaze over.  Then she dropped this line: "Academically, he is doing amazing..."


This caused me to sit up a little straighter in the dwarf chair. "Socially, he is having some difficulty."  The teachers went on to explain.  He is very well behaved, but apparently the Captain doesn't like play with some of the boys in his class.  While he is very polite, he declines to hang out with them.  She tells us that he prefers to play with the girls and that he "flirts with the girls to get them to do what he wants."  She may call this socially lacking, while I call it socially advanced.  The Captain's mom and I cannot see how this is an issue. 


Let me get this straight.


Academics?  Check.
Manners? Check.
Girls dig him?  Check.
He digs them?  Check.


What else is there at 5?


So that is how the Captain earned a trip to Bush Gardens to celebrate his perfect report at the parent teacher conference.